A Guide to Talk Dating Like Generation Z: Fifty-One Niche Phrases for Love, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

This year represents a full decade since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the idea that someone could instantly end communication with a partner without a word seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the 10 years since, seeking a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Zoomers, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more unhinged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a detailed breakdown to the words gen Z is using to navigate love, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the recent most viral online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, dating’s ideal is showing up as your real, raw self. You'll need it with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A social media test inspired by a framework developed by relationship scientists, in which you point out something trivial – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's reply is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are not compatible.

Black cat girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and independence. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

C

Seat theory – This refers to going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a seat for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A outing where two people connect while handling tasks, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do affordable romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, spilling all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

Dink – Dual income no kids. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes couples who choose against having children to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal quirks suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners crazy, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits validate your choice to date a partner. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, largely inoffensive quirks. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still carrying around a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you meet someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who loathes the same things or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so preoccupied with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A trend describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype promoted by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who apparently has no aspirations of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Icks – Arbitrary and often mundane dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else receive an incredibly thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal catch: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be limited since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {